To the Doctors

Today my friends- I am officially a woman.  Why? Because I finally had my first gynecologist exam.

Yes yes I know... they're a little bit freaky.  Okay downright scary. Especially if you've never had one before.  But in all honesty- it was okay.  I mean sure the chair looks ominous and the tools look like something out of a horror film... but it's really not that bad.  So here's how my exam went:

It was my first time so I had to fill out a form about any preexisting health issues I had (basically none) and all that good stuff that I used to have my mother fill out.  Now I have to know it... cause I'm a big kid now!
Anywho, then I got called into the office where they took my blood pressure, weight, and checked to make sure their other information was up to date.  Then- they gave me a pregnancy test.

Yep.  A pregnancy test.  Nevermind that I'm on the pill and have been taking it religiously for years I had to go pee in a cup.

I wasn't pregnant.

After that (which made me feel a little awkward... because my months have always been kinda weird since I am on the pill and I switched to the generic version but I digress) I went into the actual room and undressed.  There was even that thin papery cover thing they give you so you're not too exposed to the elements.  That wasn't that bad.  Then the doctor came in.  She was really nice and her hands were not cold at all.  But I did have to undo my bra and let her feel around my breasts a bit... which was.... weird.  That's actually a good explanation for the whole thing.  Weird.  She declared that I didn't have any weird lumps in the breasts (so no cancer) and then had me lay back and she did the deed.

The feared, the dreaded.... pelvic examination!!

It wasn't that bad.  Kinda tickled actually.  They do spread you open a little bit but it's nowhere near as far as people make it out to be.  She did explain what she was going to do before and then she swabbed around in there and then put everything in test vials so they could be sent away to be checked for STDs. (It's the whole nine-yards with this... pregnancy, STDs, breast cancer...)  I won't get my results back for a few days- but I don't have anything that they could detect now!  So that's good.  And apparently I looked healthy.

No, I don't know what 'healthy' versus 'unhealthy' looks like down there either.

But all in all it took about... 20 minutes?  Then I waited for 15 more outside while they did the onsite testing- I'm clean!  Very interesting experience.  Though I'm glad I don't have to get the "Pap smear".  I don't know what it is- but I don't get it until I'm 21.  And I don't have to get another one of these for another year.  Win! (But honestly, I'm just glad that I wasn't pregnant.  I knew I wasn't but still- how embarrassing would that be?)