Night 6: Dark Shadows (2012)
Quality: 1.5/5 - There's obviously some production quality, but the absolutely terrible writing, pacing, and overall story just ruin it. Even the "special" effects were just a snooze- especially for a Tim Burton film. Why didn't anyone understand that he was just into butts?
Enjoyability: 1/5 - Nothing happened until 25 minutes in, and we had to pause it just to give ourselves a chance to make it through. A wonderful example of Telling not Showing. We spent the last hour of the movie just talking over it and we didn't miss anything. If anything- we made better jokes. Also, this did NOT age well- especially considering the recent stuff about Johnny Depp. That kid is 15 dude stop talking about birthing hips.
Spookiness: ??? - Was this supposed to be spooky? Scary? Funny? Some combination? It wasn't any of those. Listen, Tim Burton from 6 years ago- if you want to make a spoopy porn about witches and vampires starring your wife and Johnny Depp- just do it! We're all behind you.
But in the end, this was the worst movie so far.
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