I'm finally back HOME!

It's been a long summer since I last posted.  The semester ended and I landed my first big girl job!

This summer I got to be a camp counselor, and it was awesome!  Tiring, and I have no internet whatsoever... but it was fun.  I made fire, hiked around, rode horses and played in boats all summer.

I just wish I had been able to vlog more.  I barely made 3 minutes a day. 5 minutes on a super good day.  But I can't vlog the children so I had to work around it.  Oh well, at least I did something!

But now the summer is over, and I'm back home at SBU.  WOO!  We had our first football game/marching band performance yesterday.  We won. At both. :D  And I finally settled my room.  Well, almost, I still have a few school things that need to find a home.  However, overall my room is FANTASTIC!  The layout is awesome, I have my own cave thing with my desk and bed, and I even brought my own sewing machine.

That's right.  A sewing machine!

Over the summer I made 2 swimmable mermaid tails with my mother's machine.  And now, I'm free to create everything else I want... some more tails, maybe a quilt.

I've been wanting to make a big quilt out of all my old tshirts form high school.  I've already cut out all the sections that I want, so with luck I'll be able to figure out how to actually sew them together.

From what I can figure out, to make one, you just need to cut out the parts of the tshirts you want with enough edge around them for a hem (about a 1/4") and then piece them together.  Any extra fabric you need to even out the square or fill in space can double as your backing color.

So this semester, I'm going to try to utilize this blog as a "how-to" of sorts for all my projects.

To start with, a basic guide for swimmable mermaid tails.  You need a patter of you from about your belly button to your feet.  For the fin itself you need to have a mono fin.  So put it on and lay down, draw around your body and your fin.  Then cut out your pattern.

Once you have your pattern, you can pick out fabric.  You'll want fabric that won't weigh you down too much in the water.   The best would be swimming fabric (you can find it in most fabric stores if you look).  Then plan out how you're going to get your fin in and out.  I opted for a zipper on the bottom of the fin, so it can get in and out without stretching out the ankle area.  You can also use ribbon ties, or push it in from the opening at the top.

I use elastic for the top of the tail around the waist.

Basically, get your fin and think through how you want to remove it.  If you'd rather keep the fin in at all times, then just sew your fin inside the tail.  Look around online for swimmable mermaid tails to see different ways people have done it.

Until the next update!  I'll see you later!

-Pim

I feel like a failure. :(

Today was the finals for the SBU Idol singing competition.  I auditioned and made it all the way into the top 8.  And then we all performed.  Everyone was great!  And then I went up to sing.

I didn't do well.

The moment I hit the last note I knew I was terrible.  I didn't have enough air or the right support and the back of my throat was feeling fuzzy and crackling.  But I ended well and people were cheering and I felt like I had done really well.  That's when the announcer asked the judges what they thought.  Now, the judges hadn't given critiques on everyone, but I thought I would get rave reviews.  Instead they mentioned how I should have chosen a song more in my range and not be so pitchy.  As soon as I heard that I knew there was no way I was doing well in the competition.

And lo and behold I didn't place.  (They only announced the top 3.)

But the worst part about it is how people were reacting afterwards.  Everyone told me I was great, some people gave me advice on how I could have been better.  Honestly, I would have preferred people give me sympathy for not winning.  I did well yes, but it was the finals, everyone "did well".  And since I just lost, I wish I could have gotten advice on being better later.

I've been fighting tears ever since.

Don't get me wrong, I am so happy to have been able to even compete in the finals, and the people who won were amazing!  But that doesn't mean I didn't want to win.  I feel crushed.  I wasn't good enough and I don't know why.  And I may never know.  And I feel sad that I didn't do better.

I wanted to win, or at least dazzle the crowd.  Instead right after my performance I got to hear about how bad I was.  And by the end, it turns out I was somewhere between "the worst performer there" and "just missing the cut".  From my viewpoint, since I'm not singled out as good- I must be bad.

And that hurts.

So happy to be an RA!

I love my job.  I'm a resident assistant on the 3rd floor and I love it!  My residents are great, my staff is awesomely supportive, and even being on duty in the office is fun.

When I started this job I thought it would be boring and pointless (after all, who cares about RAs?)  But now, I'm getting noticed on campus as a helper, I have a great support group from people I would have never associated with otherwise, my references for summer jobs are amazing, and I'm just having fun!

In the office, when I sit on duty for 5 hours a night (not every night thank goodness!) I can do homework, have the TV on for background noise and greet everyone who comes in the building.  Residents wave hello and goodbye, some even stop by for a minute or two for a chat.  My fellow RAs pop in to see if I need any food or help, and I'm the person people come to for help. :)  That's a great feeling, to know that people need you and more importantly they are coming to you specifically.

Not to mention my bulletin boards and door decorations!  I was so psyched to make them this semester, it's a great perk of the job.  And now that the semester is starting I'm also doing programs.  (Gearing up for a Valentine's Day dinner date program, SO EXCITED)

Besides, I just like the job.  I enjoy being known on campus and having people want to ask me for help.  I love being an RA.  Best job in the world.

Rain!

Friday is going to be an interesting day.  I have to wake up early to do my PHY class, but then I'm free until 4:30 for band.  I wonder how I could fill the time?  I could:

• work out
• eat
• sleep
• do homework
• write
• read
• play music
• hang with friends
• cry
• wonder if I need something from my dorm
• walk
• do pottery
• play on Facebook
• change clothes
• make coffee
• make tea
• complain
• browse the inter webs
• sign petitions
• play a game
• not play a game
• imagine things
• plan my week
• clean my room
• take a shower
• do my hair
• make my bed
• watch TV
• do my nails
• text friends
• email people
• play the wii
• go to the gym
• play bagpipes
• play guitar
• practice yoga
• draw
• paint
• be funny

But instead I'll probably just be lazy... though I could do all of those... And really should do some of them...

Deliver it!

Hey guys!  I think I was just amazing.  Cause I found a way to link my blogger with my tumblr, Facebook and twitter!

Hee hee I feel so smart! :)

Want to give it a try?  Here's the link!

Today I Feel.....

Fat - cause I'm trying to go on a diet and I'm doing it well (but I still want EVERYTHING NOM)

Lazy - cause I'm not doing anything important and I should be doing homework

Pointless - cause it's one of those days, though vlogging always helps that! I know there's at least 2 people who read and watch my blog and vlog!

Sad - cause I just had very interesting conversations with people who are close to me.

Happy - cause I love my friends! SO MUCH! HUGS FOR EVERYONE!

Awesome - cause I watched the State of the Union address and paid attention for the first time ever.  I understood and I want to learn more.  And I've made it on time to every class so far.

Tired - cause I stayed up late to edit my vlog instead of waking up early to do it....

I am no longer a teen.

Today I am finally graduating kid-hood.  I turn 20 today.  Now, I know that I'll still be a 'kid' or a 'young person' to most people- but I'm finally out of the teen years.  I can't say I'm a teenager anymore- I'm in my twenties.

It makes me feel.... I'm not sure.... sad?  I feel like I should have accomplished more by now.  I should have more job experience, I should have dated more, I should have done more!

On the other hand, my life is just starting!  I'm an adult and I'm in college, I'm starting my first real jobs, I'm in my first relationship life is great!  This year is going to be my year.  My weight loss is going well and my other resolutions are going great.

But now I'm twenty, which means I have to grow up a bit more.  Or at least I should.....

hmmmmmmm, well I'll have to think about that ;)

- Pim

I just don't feel like it....

Today I went on a great walk with my dad- the sun was just going down and we went around all 3 lakes by our house.  We didn't run but we kept up the pace and everything was awesome.  Then we got home and suddenly we were in a great big huge debate thing about religion.

Then somehow it ended up with my brother involved and we were talking about mutilation of baby genitals.  (aka religious circumcision)  EWWW

Now I'm angry and depressed and I don't want to do anything other than sit in my dark basement drinking hot water and talk with my boyfriend.  Except he's far away right now in another timezone- and I don't want to bother my friends with this.  I'm just so frustrated now.

Here's what I think: if my religion doesn't hurt me, or anyone else (inhuman treatment of animals included) and it doesn't try to stop science from making the world a better place then why do you have to put it down?  If your religion does the same thing then why should I put yours down?

I don't agree with people who say science can't do this or shouldn't be taught in school because of religion. And I don't agree with the religious fanatics who want to (or do) kill people over religion.  But that doesn't make everyone who is religious a bad person.  There are fanatics in every walk of life- and they are not a good thing.  But that doesn't mean everyone who does something is a crazed fanatic.

And please, stop asking me about circumcision.

The worst part about all of this?  Now I'm really depressed and I don't want to do my workout.... >x'(

Getting there...

Alright!  I need to lose 68lbs in around 7 months.  So by my calculations I need to be losing 2 1/2 pounds a week.  If I round that up to 3 I'll be home free!

Starter workout: 10 puhsups, 20 situps, 30 crunches, and 40 jumpingjacks. twice a day.
Light breakfast, and regular-sized meal. I can drink tea and milk as much as I want.  But no pop at all.

New Year's Resolution

It's that time of year again, where everyone decides what they'll change about themselves over the next 365 days.  In previous years, I've never been too realistic with my goals and I've never really tried to reach them.. but this year is going to be different.  I have a system.

Firstly, I have an overarching theme for my year.  This way I have something I can remember to do every day even when I'm currently not working on specifics.

Then I have a few supplements that will help me become a better person and keep me on track.

This year, 2012, my theme is the song "Domino" by Jessie J.  It's happy, upbeat, and gives me a sense of knowing when to ask for help and telling people what you want.  I've always thought I keep things to myself until they boil over, so I want to be happier and talk to people more.

My supplements include the classic "lose weight".  My goal weight is 115, so I have quite the way to go.  But I have rewards for myself if I reach my goal (namely an extra ear piercing when I reach 140 and a belly button ring if I reach my goal).  I'm trying to gain that body where you can where a bikini without looking weird or concentrate on it.  Not to mention it would be nice to hear the models that are my size aren't labeled "plus-sized".

Honestly, that's the worst part of being big- yes there are models of our size but they are automatically in a different category.  I don't have "models" I have "plus-sized" models.  There apparently has to be that qualification (XL).  But I digress,

I also want to blog here more often, I'll probably use this as a update on my weight loss and how that's going.  Inspiration and pictures and whatnot.  Besides blogging here, I'll be vlogging on YouTube under IANOYTYK.  I'm going to do it every day. 365.  Yea baby.

On a more personal note, I also want to write in my diary every night.  I stopped doing that and I shouldn't have, it's a wonderful stress reliever.

Now let's see how long I can keep these going!